


If there is a light you can always see

by JuliaBaggins



Series: Lie down with me and hold me in your arms [1]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hugs, M/M, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-09-01 03:06:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8604712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuliaBaggins/pseuds/JuliaBaggins
Summary: Hugs for Credence





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [smallprotector](https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallprotector/gifts).
  * Translation into Türkçe available: [If there is a light you can always see](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8673274) by [necessitas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/necessitas/pseuds/necessitas)



> For a friend who insisted on me writing hugs for Credence - hope you like it ;)
> 
> Now also available in Russian, thanks to the lovely VassaR: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4958310

It was late in the evening and Credence was sitting in an armchair, wrapped in a blanket that Newt had insisted him to take. He was carefully watching the other man. Who was currently talking to a _branch._ That talked _back._ Considering everything Credence had seen during the last few days alone, everything he had witnessed Graves perform earlier, and thinking about the fact that he was _in a suitcase_ at the moment he probably shouldn’t be surprised by anything that surrounded these magicians anymore, but he was.

He remembered Newt making tea earlier and telling him that it would be okay for him to relax, and though this sounded impossible to Credence’s ears he was glad to be on his own for now. Newt was not far away, sitting at a table that the branch stood on, but he was busy and leaving Credence alone. Alone to _think._ And though Credence was glad that he didn’t have to talk right now he wasn’t sure if he wanted to think about anything at all. Certainly not about the feeling when all those wizards had pointed their wands at him, the white hot pain seemingly frying every nerve in his body, and the blackness that followed. Not about Graves who had suddenly looked at him with such cold _cold_ eyes, like he was one of those who’d hurt Credence at every given opportunity rather than the only source of light in all of his darkness; the only one he trusted. And then there were the thoughts of what had been inside him, of what he had _done_ … Credence remembered the moment he had blacked out from all that pain, how he had thought that this was it, that he’d finally die. Wondered if that wouldn’t have been for the better…

 

“Hey.”

Credence flinched when he heard Newt’s voice, saw him crouched in front of his armchair. But there was nothing but kindness and worry in his eyes, in his eyes that wouldn’t quite meet Credence’s own until he had backed down a bit.

“Shh, it’s alright. Try to take some deep breaths with me, please?”, Newt whispered, his voice as kind as ever. And Credence suddenly became aware of how short and how fast his breaths were, of how much he was shaking. That must have been what brought Newt here in the first place. So he tried to do what the wizard had asked, to concentrate on his breathing, and after some time, he succeeded.

When he noticed Credence slowly calming down, Newt smiled at him, and Credence started to wonder when someone had last smiled at him like this, a kind smile just for its own sake. He wondered if anyone had ever.

Newt kept looking at him but he didn’t say anything, and Credence asked himself if he should break the silence. For most of his life, speaking without being told to do so hadn’t been a good idea, but with Newt… He didn’t seem like a threat. And when he talked there was nothing vicious in his voice, nothing that made Credence fear of being hurt or feel small and under his power. So he decided to give it a try.

“What- What was that thing you were talking to?”, Credence asked, not quite meeting Newt’s eyes anymore.

“Pickett? He’s a bowtruckle!”, Newt answered, his smile lighting up his whole face.

“They are tree guardians, mostly for trees whose wood can be used for making wands. Pickett here used to live in southern Germany before he joined me.”

Credence felt that there was more to it, a story about how Newt had met this bowtruckle, but he wasn’t sure if the other man wanted to tell it.

“So, you are friends now?”

“Yes, we are”, Newt answered with another smile. “Would you like to meet him?”

Credence felt himself hesitantly nodding before he had much time to think about it, and shortly after he faced the little creature Newt called Pickett.

 

Pickett was standing at Newt’s hand which pointed towards Credence, looking at him out of his small brown eyes. It extended one of his slender green finger, and Credence felt his own hand moving towards the little thing. Oh so carefully he touched the finger with one of his own and then, suddenly, the bowtruckle climbed onto Credence’s hand. The touch of his tiny feet felt like tickling, so so different from the vicious touches his hand was used to, and when Pickett looked at him again Credence felt himself actually smiling. And his smile most definitely wasn’t as bright and radiant as Newt’s while he watched them, but it was there, and this alone was a strange feeling.

“Wh- what is he doing?”, Credence asked Newt when the little tree guardian slowly put his branch-like arms around Credence’s own arm.

“Pickett’s hugging you.”

Credence didn’t have a fitting answer for that, so he just looked at Newt with wide eyes, then at Pickett, who buried his fingers in the rough fabric of his jacket, then at Newt again.

“If you want him to stop…”

“No. It’s okay”, Credence answered, and the smile found its way to Newt’s features again.

“I think Pickett likes you.”

When Credence didn’t answer to that the shadow of an emotion passed over Newt’s face and Credence wondered what he might have seen in his own. If the wizard could make out his surprise, his confusion when being faced with the possibility of someone _liking_ him.

Carefully, Newt extended his own hand, so slow that it gave Credence every possibility to take his own away, and when he didn’t, Newt took Credence’s hand in his, touching him right below where Pickett was nestled in his jacket. 

“Credence… I’m sorry for, for everything that happened, and I just want you to know… You can stay here as long as you like to. I’m not going to hurt you. None of my friends will. You’re safe here”, Newt stated, his voice as warm as the touch of his hand.

And when he faced Newt’s gaze, the honesty there, Credence found himself believing his words. Not the part about him being safe, that was too far away from everything he knew, but Newt’s words about how he wouldn’t hurt him. _That_ he believed.

Credence wondered what he should say when the bowtruckle at his arm suddenly moved and Newt’s eyes shifted to him. The little thing seemed to have said something and after a short amount of consideration, Newt focused on Credence again.

 

“Pickett… He, well, he wonders if you’d like a hug from me too.”

Credence thought about it, about the light touch of Newt’s hand in his, the sound of his voice that had been the first thing he heard after coming back from what he had thought to be his death, of the way he talked to branches and fluffy black animals with a love for glittery things and whatever else might life in his suitcase. And Credence realized that he wasn’t afraid of the other man.

“Yes, I think I’d like that”, he whispered.

And so Credence found himself in Newt’s gentle embrace, the wizard’s arms around him, and he felt like some of the darkness that always seemed to surround him melted under his careful touch. And if there were people like Newt Scamander in it, maybe the world wasn’t always as awful a place as it had been for Credence so far.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from U2's "Song for Someone"
> 
> Nice comments would be wonderful! :)
> 
> And come say Hello at Tumblr: consulting-angel-in-bag-end


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